Wednesday, May 30, 2012

dear friends.

from  left to right:gua,aca,min,fana,thee,paan.
assalamualaikum to all,
okay kali ni aku taknak cerita pasal ex aku dah.coz i knew he will not going to go back to me.:)
okay okay,kat atas ni kawan-kawan rapat aku,masa zaman aku sem 1 dengan sem 2 kat kmj tu~
nina nak cerita pasal diorang nih.
just take it as my tokens of appreciation towards them,kay?

first,let me start with..*drum rolls* (in no particular orders)

>.Aca,
      Dia kawan ketiga aku.kenal dia via pa'an,sebab diorang dulu classmate.my first impression,"she must be an all A's students,".the way she talks,i really love it.haha.then bila dah lama kenal,rupanya satu kepala,kan ca?aku ingatkan budakbudak pandai ni semuanya nerdy,tapi sebenarnya si aca ni out of category.haha.yang penting,dia bertanggungjawab kenalkan squash dekat aku.sampaikan aku jatuh cinta dengan squash.:) thanks darling.selalu lepak bilik dia,lepas tu membebel-bebel,kadang-kadang suruh dia ajar maths,dan dia akan ajar,(except for trigo,coz she hated it too,),and believes me,she's awesome! ca ni selalu tertinggal kunci bilik dia,so kadang2 balik kelas tu,dia lepak bilik aku.then kitorang borak2 lagi.satu lagi,rindu nak tengok running man dengan minah ni! walaupun kitorang kadang-kadang bertikam lidah,5 minit lepas tu dah okay balik!and ca punya citacita tinggi tahu?aku respek dia.she works hard.really hard that i believes why success always stays by her side!:) hehe.yang penting aku sayang kau ca,sangatsangat! tahniah sebab dapat fourflat and sama dengan MR....and aku doakan semoga kau jadi IR. la.:) apaapa just contact aku,and rajinrajin la datang tangkak bawak kenny's,sebab melaka dengan tangkak tak jauh mana pun!<3

>min
    aku kenal minah ni lambat sikit.dia ni roomate si ca ni.first impression aku,"dia orang kl.mesti berlagak.cakap i u bagai,"haha.sorry ya min,i memang ingat you arrogant dulu.bila dah kenal,i was like,"wow,she's an easygoing person.gilagila."serius min,dulu i memang ingat you berlagak,ruparupanya i silap! you tak kurang gila nya dari i jugak! hahahaha.selalu datang bilik minah ni,kacau dia,lepaklepak,main dengan samsung S dia tu,belekbelek buku dia,pinjam pen colour dia,belekbelek quotes yang tertampal kat softboard dia,lepas tu borakborak then blah macam tu je.min ni kelakar.kadangkadang lurus sikit.hahaha.min,next time when i see u,i harap you gemuk sikit.baru nicee! :) and i doakan you jadi arkitek yang berjaya,and don't forget me kay?

>fana.
   my counterpart,roommate aku.duduk sebelah aku je dalam bilik tu.first impression"anak manja mak".masa orientasi selalu nangis.hehe.sorry fana! fana ni firstfirst amat la pendiam,sampaikan aku rasa awkward sebab aku kan banyak cakap,macam tak matching pulak dengan minah ni.fana rajin study sebab dia nak jadi vet.sedikit sebanyak dia influence aku untuk bukak buku.sumpah dia ni teramat la rajin,kalah budak fourflat yang selalu tengok running man tu :P. sem 1,macam agak distant la dengan dia,sebab dia selalu lepak tingkat bawah.sem 2,rapat.dia dah mula merapatkan silaturahim dengan aku.kata duduk sebelah kan?fana,sekali bukak mulut,laser yang keluar.fana ni lembut sebenarnya tapi ada part part bila dia macam mak nenek sikit.kitorang suka usik fana.fana gila hindustan.tapi bila dengan aku,she can help but kena layan kpop sekali.haha.padan muka.rindu fana! rindu nak kacau fana.goodluck fana,semoga jadi vet,nanti nina nak kawen fana boleh sponsor lembu seekor.haha.

 > thee
     cekmek asal dari kelantan.berlagak orang kl.hahhaa.xD .first impression"pendiam".dia ni bilik lain,tapi disebabkan ada masalah teknikal,dia pindah bilik aku.aku ingatkan dia akak dulu.sumpah,minah ni spesis fana jugak,pendiam.mulamula lah.lama-lama kenal,budak ni satu kepala dengan aku rupanya.dia lagi biol dari aku.kitorang selalu naik bas pergi kl samasama.dia balik kajang,aku balik shah alam.thee ni kalau dah layan kdrama,memang tak turun makan la.senang dipengaruhi.thee ni mulut longkang sikit.haha.tapi hati dia baik la jugak.LOL.just kidding meh.em,dengan dia,kitorang samasama kena block outing la balik la.haha.gila kan?dengan thee,banyak la aku kongsi rahsia bagai.dia ni ramai fanboys tahu,tapi tak dilayan! she's also an awesome friend of mine! thee,kalau masuk ump cakap kat nina tahu?boleh lepak kat rumah nina! takpun kita pergi gambang waterpark samasama.:) sayang kamu sangatsangat.

> paan
   orang bp je minah ni,first kawan aku kat kmj.first impression"macam makcikmakcik".hehe.sebab paan suka pakai tudung sarung kot.lamalama kenal,dia best! aku pernah pergi tidur kat rumah dia,aku dengan thee,kitorang fly semata mata nak tengok ombak rindu.mak dia favor aku la kot,siap masak makanan favourite aku lagi.thanks makcik!:) lain kali saya datang lagi.minah ni gila squash sama dengan aku jugak.tapi dengan paan,aku banyak gaduh.sebab mulut masingmasing tak?sorry darling! hehe:) will be missing you too.! good luck! hopefully kau dapat ambik course yang kau nak kat u tu!see ya:)

p/s: to my awesome five superheroes,wonderwoman(aca),catwoman(min),rouge(fana),storm(thee),invisible woman(paan)..thanks for everything! thanks for the tunjuk ajar semua,thanks for spending weekends with me,thanks sebab lepak samasama,thanks sebab makan samasama,thanks sebab tunggu sup daging samasama,thanks sebab selalu bagi aku menyemak kat bilik you all,melalak la,berkaraoke la,membebel la,apa la,thanks sebab kutukan dan kritikan yang pedas,thanks for the pujian,ah,to make it short,thanksssss for everythings! good luck guys in the future and promise me that you'll never,ever forget me! :)

Thursday, May 17, 2012

A mistake that can't be erased.

I still can't get over it.
The hell,Nina?
You are just plain stupid for not be able to forget the past.
The hell you cry in the middle of the night?
the hell you cry in front of the lappy?
the hell you opened his profile?
why nina,why?
i just have only one reason,because my heart can't seem to accept the facts.
the fact that we HAD BROKE UP,A YEAR AGO.
i hate when my friends keep telling me that you'll be okay,and you'll find someone bettttterrr than him.
it's a lie,okay?
till now,i didn't find the so-called someone who's bettter than him.
Nina is stupid.every words that came out from her big mouth were just sharper than sword.
she likes to spill out nonsense like she's the one who are the right one.
God,please forgive her for acting like a stupid bitth.
If he's now successfully move on with his life,why not you,nina?
why the hell you are still crying like you've killed someone?
i didn't killed someone,but literally i just killed someone's precious to me trust and faith.
thanks to me, now he acted like we never had any special connection before.
i gonna give five star for your perfect acting!
just please..let me forget you,forever.
coz  you didn't seem to like,or hate me.
the feeling is just,neutral.
i just wanna tell you something,though this might sound absurd
and i know that i won't regret telling this.
my feelings towards you are still the same,believe me.it does not change AT ALL.
i hope that we still can be friend,at the very least
coz you didn't seem to treat me like one.
we're not enemy either right?
FRIEND.I THINK THIS WORD SUITE US BETTER THAN IN RELATIONSHIP.
i believe that's still light creeps out in the darkness that surrounded us.
AH~,i'm feeling better after writing this.
thanks to AIN coz lending me your ears,:)






The words that we chat face to face, the words that only two of us knew
I cannot erase it, I cannot abandon it, I cannot forget it
Looking around the street after a long time
When I pass by the street, the fond memories
I keep recalled, stopping my footsteps
After a long time, I come here now
I miss you, even if I live on pretending not knowing you, but I keep recall
Because you, always appear in front of my eyes
The memories of the time we spent together rain down like stars, but where are you
People looks happy
Only me left to be alone
Even if I don’t want to admit, but I think about you
After a long time, I come here now
I miss you, even if I live on pretending not knowing you, but I keep recall
Because you, always appear in front of my eyes
The memories of the time we spent together rain down like stars, but I shed tears
Can I see you if I wait here?
Can I tell you my heart then?
I miss you, I miss you even more
Because I am like this, I only know about you
The life without you, everything is filled with regrets
Because you are not here, I feel even more empty numerous times
Today, my steps are missing this place, I cannot move on, so I call for you





Monday, May 07, 2012

honestly,i'm not okay.

it's been a year.
since that thing happened..
the day i broke up with  HIM.
we broke up one day after my 18th birthday.
sad,right?
well,it's all my fault.
breaking up with such a nice and witty guy without a solid reason.
i don't hate him,but i don't know if he hated me for what i did or not?
you better not.
i'm not going to brag about how nice he was towards me,how his parents easily accepted me as their son's lover,or how our friends,yes,i repeat,OUR FRIENDS(we share same community cycle coz we were classmate during my senior  year).
oh god.that was just MY FAULT.
Everyone were pointing their fingers at me,saying that it's your fault,bish.
i was doomed.DOOMED.
i felt like i'm a criminal.
after finishing our high school,i thought we can just proceed to the next level.
 i mean,doing things like other couples do,like going on a date or watching movies together,wears couple tee or bickering like the world is ours.
we were envied by everyone,they kept saying things like,'woaa,you're a comedy couple.just like ys,but of course it's malay version,'
i was a proud gf then.
after a year,we seperated.
going to different colleges really put me at ease,
i'm happy coz that mean i won't see him around.
but of course,jealousy strikes me when i witnessed many couples were sooo LOVEYDOVEY,
this isn't good,i thought.but i can't do anything.
so,the  only way ,
i pretend not to see anything.
finally!it's working.
i'm really thankful.
but of course,as a couple,we share same interests.
BOTH ARE GETTING OBSESSED WITH KPOP TALENTOS.
that sounds absurd right?
okay,i admit that that one was my job too.
i lured him into that world.
then the most absurd thing is,he's obsessed with the girl groups.
*mentally slapped my face*
okay fine.i'm fine.plus,i'm proud bcoz we shared same interest and talked about it more than hours,for god sake.never getting bored.we even have nicknames for each other in korean.that explained how much our obssession to kpop.nahh.
okay fullstop.my tears are welling now.pshh.

NOW.
in front of my pals,i pretend that everything is an okay now.
i have forgotten about our past.
i've forgotten everything.
THAT'S  ONE OF BIGGEST LIE I EVER MADE.
i can't forget him,till now.
my heart seemed can't let go of 'her' other half.
dear heart,please let 'your other half' go.
it's not ours anymore.okay?

please heart,let go of him.
and you,
move on!
go and find someone who worth to be with you.












p/s:hahahaha.you guys have been trolled! i was just testing my english level coz i just felt like doing it.i'm damn bored now~! so how's bout my english..it is okay?or not?judge by yourself.i am going to write fanfiction,that's why i wrote this post.tehehe.

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